In my work with teens, and as a parent to one, there are so many worries we can have on a daily basis. How are their grades? Are they sleeping enough? Are they happy? Are they making good choices? Who are their friends? Navigating friendships as they transition through their teen years can be difficult because their need for belonging and acceptance with their peers grows. I can remember vividly how I navigated these friendships as a teen but I did not have the social media aspect! FOMO (fear of missing out) was real for us, but sometimes we didn’t find out about a time we weren’t invited for days or weeks later. Our kids know where people are and what they are doing instantly. They know who is hanging out and who is not. They are trying to keep connections, forge new ones and not be left out.

As a parent or caretaker, I would advise you that communication is so important. Teens won’t want to always talk but sometimes, in the right setting, they will. They may just want you to listen. Try not to give unsolicited advice. When they start to talk, try to stop what you are doing and give them your attention. If they do ask for your advice, here are some tips you could give them to help navigate both new and old friendships.

1. Be Authentic: True friends will accept you for who you are. Be yourself and learn to accept your unique traits.
2. Find your circle: Look for friends who share your interests and values. Surround yourself with people who lift you up and want the best for you.
3. Have open communication: Good communication is the foundation of any relationship. Being open and honest with your friends can build trust. Remember to listen to others and be respectful.
4. Boundaries are key: Know what you want to do and what you don’t want to do. Stand by your convictions. Be open with them. Respect your friend’s boundaries too.
5. Practice fair fighting: Conflicts will come up. Learn how to resolve them without being mean to one another. Listen to your friend and share how you feel with your friend. Remember compromise is key and resolving conflicts calmly and respectfully can go a long way.
6. Be a good friend: Try to treat your friends how you would want to be treated. Kindness, respect and loyalty are important.
7. Know when to let go: Some friendships could last a lifetime, but many will not. If a friendship has run its course, that is okay. We change and friends can change. If a friendship is not healthy for you anymore, it is okay to take a step back.